Largely. Petrifyingly. And with a little help from my friends.

Have you ever had a dream so big that it scared you?

A dream so large and filled with naïve wistfulness that you were afraid to articulate it? 

Afraid to say it out loud, afraid to put it into words on paper, afraid to indelibly put it into the universe in any way because you were so petrified that it wouldn’t come true?

Because once it’s out there, indelibly in this universe, it’s there for anyone to see. Everyone can know that you want this thing so badly that it scares you. Anyone has the right to raise their eyebrows incredulously and laugh at the gargantuan-ness of your wish. 

“You poor naïve little baby,” they can then say to you. “The world will chew you up and spit you out, the world will beat you down and refuse to let you stand up,” they can say.

Have you ever had a dream so large that being near it terrified you? Had a dream so terrifyingly large that it was easier to give up on it, pretend you never had it, shrug it off like you were better off without it and turn around and walk away?

Because you see, dreams are creatures of light. They shine ten thousand times brighter than the sun and radiate the most comfortable, happy warmth in the world. So of course you want to be near them.

Except for those few times, those impossibly difficult times, when they glisten too bright and dazzle too large. You squint up at them and hold your hand up to shade your face and still, it’s too hard to meet their eyes. You have to look away.

Have you ever had a dream that refused to let you go? Had a dream that you shut away in a box – once, twice, fifteen times – that always found a way out and back to you? A dream that followed you around throwing you forlorn lost-child looks while you unblinkingly looked in the other direction, trying to ignore it?

Have you ever had a dream real enough that it seemed like the truth? Ever had an idea that seems simultaneously heartbreakingly fuzzy and confoundingly clear in your mind? Have you ever stumbled on a plan that made utter and complete sense, with a quiet surety that felt strangely like destiny?

Despite it being too large to fathom, too gargantuan to wrap my mind around and way too heavy for me, I see it. It brings a lump to my throat, tears to my eyes, frustrates me, irritates me, petrifies me and fills me with the immensest joy I have known all at the same time.

Hey, dream of mine. I see you.

[So, I'm going to stop 'disclaimer-ing' after every dramatic post because it has become more than a trend at this point. I guess I am a dramatic person. Take that. <grin>  Whodathunkit. <another grin> Also. Thanks, you guys. You know who you are. You help me through the mojo-less days, make the sad days laughable at and the patches of life that lack resonance hopeful again.]