Since recently being inculcated into the "real world" that school teachers and college professors keep crowing about, I have come upon a few startling discoveries.
1. All those nice-sounding sentences about how an education is preparation for a career - bull. At least in the field I'm working in. Everything I'm doing requires unlearning tonnes of stuff I learnt at school. Including how to learn itself.
2. Murphy wasn't trying to be funny. He was dead serious.
3. There are no right answers. There are only wrong answers that have been coaxed, wheedled and convinced into thinking that they are right.
4. Clothes do not automatically disappear from the laundry basket and appear clean and folded in closets in the real world.
5. Coming home after a long day at work and having to make dinner does make you tired and cranky. Whodathunkit.
6. Pay-days are the awesomest things about being an adult.
8. You must think very carefully about all the ingredients you need before you begin cooking with gusto. For example, I made the mistake of assuming that I could make myself a fried egg, considering I had an egg, oil, salt and a pan. The moment I cracked the egg open onto the pan, I realized I had nothing to flip it with. I shall not go into the details of how the humbling experience ended.
9. Adults don't really work 9-5. It's more like a four hour day after you've subtracted coffee breaks, lunch, discussions about whose kids are worse and who's put on weight, checking for score updates on the latest games and happy hours.
10. Shopping is excruciatingly heartbreaking when the money you are spending is actually yours. It is the most special kind of torture. I went to a store last weekend to buy a hat. Obviously the one I fell in love with was the most expensive one there. After wrenching myself away from it, I looked sternly at myself in the mirror and told myself that I was never going to be the kind of girl that would spend that obscene an amount of money on a single hat. I bought a pleasant, cheaper one. But I left a piece of my heart in that hat on shelf seven at C n' A. And while we're on the subject, I think there are pieces of my heart in a few wraps, a muffler or two and about half a dozen dresses at the same store. I haven't had the strength to walk into C n' A since, and don't think I will for a while.
1. All those nice-sounding sentences about how an education is preparation for a career - bull. At least in the field I'm working in. Everything I'm doing requires unlearning tonnes of stuff I learnt at school. Including how to learn itself.
2. Murphy wasn't trying to be funny. He was dead serious.
3. There are no right answers. There are only wrong answers that have been coaxed, wheedled and convinced into thinking that they are right.
4. Clothes do not automatically disappear from the laundry basket and appear clean and folded in closets in the real world.
5. Coming home after a long day at work and having to make dinner does make you tired and cranky. Whodathunkit.
6. Pay-days are the awesomest things about being an adult.
8. You must think very carefully about all the ingredients you need before you begin cooking with gusto. For example, I made the mistake of assuming that I could make myself a fried egg, considering I had an egg, oil, salt and a pan. The moment I cracked the egg open onto the pan, I realized I had nothing to flip it with. I shall not go into the details of how the humbling experience ended.
9. Adults don't really work 9-5. It's more like a four hour day after you've subtracted coffee breaks, lunch, discussions about whose kids are worse and who's put on weight, checking for score updates on the latest games and happy hours.
10. Shopping is excruciatingly heartbreaking when the money you are spending is actually yours. It is the most special kind of torture. I went to a store last weekend to buy a hat. Obviously the one I fell in love with was the most expensive one there. After wrenching myself away from it, I looked sternly at myself in the mirror and told myself that I was never going to be the kind of girl that would spend that obscene an amount of money on a single hat. I bought a pleasant, cheaper one. But I left a piece of my heart in that hat on shelf seven at C n' A.
Murphy is God.
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